I spent too long thinking up that title.

You know how the trailer made you feel? That’s literally the exact feeling you have in the movie. An extended cut of badassery.

It’s not a movie in the sense of a main character arc or a deep-rooted human conflict that comes to a climax mid-film. There’s no complex world-altering plot. No, no; it’s literally just a feature-length fun ride heist movie. And why the fuck not? They’re giving you exactly what you want. This IS what you want.

Great cast and solid comedy. I definitely blessed the theater with some obnoxious HAHA’s. A little surprised I’ve never been kicked out of the cinema before. And James Corden? Unnecessary. Like... why? Was it his day off? Was he creeping around the set and annoying everyone to the point where they figured they should just let him be in the movie and get it over with? So that was a little bit of mediocrity, but in the big picture (heh) of things, it’s a negligible complaint. (Yet she complained still.)

Have you ever wanted to both become and make out with eight different people at the same time? Because that’s what this movie is.

The pace is fast-moving, the plot is straight-forward but fun, and the soundtrack complements the badassy tone that the movie sets up before the movie even started. The tone that was set up in the trailer, in fact. Yes, badassy tone is its academic name. Characters were notably diverse in role and personalities, and whose dynamic IS the movie. You’re just watching two hours of awesome people hanging out.

I would also like to stare confusedly at this computer screen.

If you’ve already seen the movie and you can definitively say that you have one favorite character, you’re lying to yourself. You’re lying to me, you’re lying to your family, and you’re lying to your country. Get out.