Lately, our culture seems to be engrossed in the idea that there are little gremlins out there known as “haters.” This “haters gonna hate” phenomenon isn’t just in Bahrain, it’s a global idea that emphasizes everyone’s belief that every thing is perfect just the way it is, and anyone who thinks otherwise is a hater. Somehow, no matter who you are and what you do, you must fight the haters.
No.
No.
There is no such thing as a “hater.” No one hates everything for the mere passion to hate. No person exists to purely hate something or someone, especially not you. Who are you?
Nothing is perfect just the way it is, and the sooner we realize this the quicker we will move forward.
The first issue with alienating yourself from your critics by calling them “haters,” other than creating an idiotic crusade against a world that couldn’t care less, is the fact that it is reductionist. Now, while reductionism is fantastic to explain complex phenomena, you and your business are not a complex phenomenon. You don’t need to make something simple even simpler.
Furthermore, by dismissing feedback as merely expressions of baseless hate, you become even more offensive than the haters themselves, by blatantly stating that this person’s opinion is unimportant and invaluable, which is much more hateful and juvenile than having a negative opinion about someone’s business. If someone hates something, which they probably don’t because hate is really such a strong word, they do so for a reason. There’s a reason someone thought your burgers were overrated, and that’s okay. You need to know why. Sometimes, the reason itself isn’t very useful, and many people probably cannot verbalize their hatred in a way that can be directly helpful to you, but even caring enough just to ask about it is good enough to get some people to turn around.
For example, if someone expressed that they thought your restaurant looks like a bathroom and was therefore unappetizing, you need to respond to this, not to subtly encourage your fan base to crusade against her. She had a thought. She expressed her thought. Maybe she brought up something you hadn’t thought about before. While you may not decide to completely change your decor because of one person’s tweet, you could ask her about it; was there something specific about the decor she was talking about? Was the restaurant area she was sitting in dirty in any way? Was there a smell? If anything, it’s at least a funny viewpoint you had never noticed before, acknowledge her comment and do not get defensive. It’s as important as an excited “your burger is amazing” comment, if not more important.
Currently, Bahrain is a society of entrepreneurialism, and the pool of SMEs is only getting bigger every day. I feel like if there were 1,000 cupcake places in Bahrain, that would be fine, because let’s face it, we’re only getting hungrier. Still, 1,000 cupcake places will result in a saturated market, and a cupcake place has to establish itself in the midst of the noise. The issue isn’t about what the business is or how many similar businesses existed before, it’s about how a company can take advantage of customer feedback to improve and stand out. A company that fights against and ignores “the haters” will maintain its fan base, but a company that listens to its “haters” stands a chance to win them over and improve. 1,000 cupcake places are highly unlikely to exist five years from now, and a cupcake company that creates a solid relationship with the community has a fighting chance.
That being said, the one thing I will not tell you is that someone’s comments are not personal. The truth is that your business is personal. Everything that your company produces is somehow a result of your thoughts and actions, so it’s okay to feel personal when someone is negative about your business. It isn’t easy to take angry comments in stride, and it isn’t easy to welcome suggestions from someone your immediate reaction is to dislike. You’ll realize, however, that it is a much more rewarding reaction than viciously defending yourself. The worst thing to do is to get defensive, because then you’re creating a war-zone. A company should not be at war with anyone. People are not naturally hateful, at least not on a personal level, so responding to a negative customer like he is a human being with an opinion you’re interested in can in itself change his feelings. Don’t always count on it to be the only step, but don’t underestimate the power of making an effort.
The problem with us, people in general, is that we don’t always verbalize our thoughts in an objectively critical manner. Sometimes we just want to say that we feel this company’s website is shitty. So although it is easy to say that those who are vulgar are obviously unhelpful, I don’t think this is the case. If you get 100 responses about your newly launched website, chances are most of the responses will be general like or general dislike. We do not immediately react to be constructive, we immediately react to express. You, as a company looking to develop, need to extract the constructive criticism out of us. If I say your company website is so shitty and it makes me want to puke, you could try to pull yourself together and ask me why. What is specifically shitty about the website? You’ll force me to feel self-conscious about my wording, since you acknowledged my importance, and at the same time you might make me notice things that I like about your website while I was analyzing the bad things. If you got nothing out of me except “I just think you’re shitty,” you tried.
Many depend on their fans to offer constructive criticism for self-improvement. After all, why would I listen to someone who hates me when I can take suggestions from people who actually clearly love me and support me? Realistically, companies shouldn’t completely depend on their loyal fan base. While I’m sure there are many of those who can remain objective while dealing with companies or products they love, and I respect people who can do this, most lovers are incapable of seeing flaws, or rather acknowledging them.
For example, I love Señor Paco’s. I love it so much. I yearn for Señor Paco’s. Everything they do is perfect to me. Still, I know deep down that sometimes they take too long to bring out the food, I really don’t like how loud it gets when they bring in their regular guitarist/singer, and their prices are not always reasonable. Do I care? No. I let it slide. Because I love Señor Paco’s. That being said, I don’t fight someone to the death if they don’t like Señor Paco’s, because I know I am blinded by love, I do not want any negative thought to leave my Señor Paco’s experience tainted, and that’s okay.
Since Bahrain is so small, chances are you are friends with owners of certain businesses, and that’s another factor that causes people to verbally murder anyone who has something bad to say, they’re defending a friend. If this applies to you, fuck off. We all love our friends, and we would all gladly defend them to the death when they need defending. But your friend is not perfect, and your friend wants to succeed. Your friend will not succeed if they do not improve. No one needs a Twitter army. This isn’t the third grade. If you have the right to express your love for a burger or a cookie with a hundred exclamation marks and ten pictures, then someone else has the right to say the restaurant looks like a bathroom. It’s natural to have differing opinions, but it’s unnatural to go all Braveheart on your Twitter timeline as a reaction.
Sometimes, the loyal fan base is the reason why some companies have so many “haters.” While I’m not suggesting you block off your best customers, you don’t need to shove them in everyone’s faces, especially online. You don’t need to repost everyone’s nice comments ever, every time. The way you can be gracious accepting criticism, be gracious when accepting compliments.
At the end of the day, you will not love everything someone has to say about your products or services. Once you establish something in the public domain, you invite criticism, and this is the consequence you have to live with. The key is not whether or not everyone likes you, because that’s useless, the key is how you react to the negativity. You can choose to ignore mean comments, attack them, or allow your fan base to attack them, and as a result come off as rigid, defensive, and ultimately juvenile, or you could listen to the comments and actually open yourself up for improvement, coming off as genuine and passionate. Blind clapping helps no one.
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